did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
