I think my fart just growled at me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
