Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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