This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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