Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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