If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize