is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
how drunk are you?
Several
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
