Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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