I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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