420 ftw
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
