haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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