my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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