Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
