its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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