Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
