Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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