Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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