is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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