can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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