I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
