Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
