yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
