I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
