Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Your face is a jimmy john
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
