i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
