the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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