i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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