States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
