her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
