Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
