I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
