that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize