in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
