Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
