Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
