I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
