shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
