i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
