didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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