if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think my fart just growled at me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
