not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
