You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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