Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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