He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
