I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
