i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
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you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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