new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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