yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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