Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
