I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
