the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
