Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
