I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
