God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just invented taco cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize