This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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