She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
