Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
