i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
