I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
