the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
