Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Pants are for mortals
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
