Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
