He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
