She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
