They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
